"Dear Friends at The Hub, You have ruined my life. I have always loved coffee, but somehow, mediocrity didn't bother me that much. Even when it was glaring. Even when what I was drinking made me want to spit it out, like the scene in Mulholland Drive when the Italian producer is served espresso. Now your fine establishm ...ent has shown the way to the realm of Gods. If I may quote a friend of mine: "Oh bliss! Bliss and heaven! Oh, it was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. It was like a bird of rarest-spun heaven metal or like silvery wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now." I am ruined. Now when I am out of Reno, I desperately search out any non-chain coffee establishment hoping, praying that maybe their product won't be utter rubbish. But I know, as soon as I see the clientele, the ineptly grinning "barista", the "specials" menu. This will be the same as the others. I would be better off popping an ibuprofen and slamming a sugar laden, liver rending energy drink. I drop my head in disgust as I receive my Holy Communion from The Devil in a styrofoam cup (who uses styrofoam anymore?). I swill their crap water at the counter so the service can see the look of disgust on my face. I try to keep it down as I run back to my truck to find my water bottle. What will become of my life? How will I ever find satisfaction or fulfillment? Must I stay in Reno forever?
Anyway, Thank you, I love you,"
No, Ian... thank you, sir.